Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
The Rise of Skywalker tries very hard to feel like a grand finale, but it mostly feels like a group project where everyone realised the assignment was due in five minutes. The plot moves at hyperspeed, jumping from planet to planet like it drank six energy drinks and forgot what it was doing halfway through. Characters keep discovering mysterious objects that lead to other mysterious objects that lead to other mysterious objects, like a galactic scavenger hunt designed by someone who really loves GPS coordinates.
The film throws nostalgia around like confetti—old characters, familiar lines, dramatic speeches—hoping the audience will be too distracted to notice the story tying itself into knots. By the end, it feels less like a carefully planned conclusion and more like someone aggressively smashing together action scenes, emotional moments, and “epic” music until something resembling a finale pops out. It’s loud, chaotic, and occasionally baffling, like watching the galaxy’s most expensive panic attack unfold in real time.