Man of Steel
I went into Man of Steel expecting hope, inspiration, maybe even a moment where I’d want to put on a cape and help people. Instead, I got two and a half hours of Superman discovering that Metropolis is, in fact, extremely breakable. By the halfway point, the city looks less like a place people live and more like a demolition company’s final exam. You start to wonder if the real villain is zoning regulations.
Then there’s Pa Kent, played by Kevin Costner, who decides the best life lesson for his superpowered son is… to lose a fight against weather. Not even a supervillain—just a slightly aggressive breeze. In every other version, Jonathan Kent’s death actually means something; it teaches Clark that even with all his power, he can’t save everyone. Here, it teaches him that standing still dramatically is apparently more important than basic survival instincts. It’s less “tragic fatherly wisdom” and more “sir, you could have just walked faster.”
And of course, the grand finale: Superman and General Zod turn Metropolis into a pile of expensive gravel. Superman, symbol of hope, spends most of the movie looking like he’s accidentally in a very serious car insurance ad. When he finally stops Zod, it’s by snapping his neck after what feels like several business days of collateral damage. At that point, the moral dilemma lands a bit flat—like, sure, he saved those few people, but the rest of the city is now a memory. Inspiring stuff. Truly makes you believe a man can fly… straight through several office buildings without slowing down.