The Emoji Movie

The Emoji Movie, where do I even begin, this movie is bad, it’s just bad on every level, but hey, there’s a poop emoji, since every single movie viewer is an immature 2 year old, this is extremely funny to me.

Okay, I am gonna cut the bullshit, this movie sucks more than a vacuum, and anyone over the age of 5 knows this, because HOW, just HOW, do you go from THE EMOJI MOVIE, one of the worst things ever put to animation, to INTO THE SPIDER-VERSe. Yes, in a 1 year span, Sony managed to create one of the WORST and BEST animated movies ever.

This film feels like someone opened a phone, pointed at random apps, and said “yeah that’s the plot.” The main character’s entire personality is that he can’t make one face. That’s it. That’s the conflict. Then we get a road trip through Candy Crush, Just Dance, and whatever brand deal would pay the most that week. It’s less of a movie and more of a 90-minute advertisement pretending to have substance.

There are jokes, technically. They exist. Most of them sound like they were written by someone who just discovered what memes are five minutes ago. The emotional moments feel forced, the villain reveal is predictable, and the whole thing looks like it was rendered inside a plastic toy aisle.

It’s loud, desperate, and painfully unfunny. The only impressive part is that it somehow convinced an entire studio this was a good idea.